The Unkindest Cut, by UrbanClap

‘tis midnight in Chennai, the city of heat
My mortal form, on the soiled floor, lies
Weary of this world and darkness and defeat
Sleep a necessity, but the night flies
Instead, I lie, prone at your feet,
UrbanClap, you are but lies and deceit

You may think, ‘tis a story of love unrequited,
Wounds, betrayal and grief, of ego conceited
or a tale of anguish, or a lover’s tiff
Nay, my readers, as I stand on the cliff
I call out your false promises, of the bonds broken
UrbanClap, you only flatter to sadden

Let me tell you the story, of how my AC broke
as one fine day, I lay sipping my coke
new to the city, I had lost all hope
When my friend said, “Fear not, UrbanClap is dope!”

I wielded my android, my beacon of information
downloaded your app, seemed like the only solution
tapped my keys, scheduled a meeting
That night I lay, my heart beating
For you had promised, UrbanClap
That you’d rescue me out of this crap

The knight arrived, fought a fierce battle
Blows were exchanged, oh how did my AC rattle!
As the end drew near, and I could hardly stand
your knight descended from the sky, with his wand
He stood before me, and said with a smile
“This magic capacitor, shall run many a mile
Now, you mustn’t worry, for I have cured your AC,
Quick now, the 1500 Rupees, let me see!”

I obliged, paid him his fee
Said, “Thank you, my Lord, for setting me free”
Little did I know, UrbanClap, that you had cheated me
for your knight had left, rubbing his hands in glee

For when I returned that night, my tired face red
I switched on my AC, alas, ‘twas but dead!
I fell on my knees, praying, in grave despair,
UrbanClap, this unkindest cut, too much to bear

I held my cats close, in grief I was sinking,
as I watched my AC’s dying lights blinking
Thus, I took up my pen, as I swore revenge,
My AC’s death, I seek out to avenge
UrbanClap, you depraved, unkind start-up
The least of all, I expected you to fuck up

You know UrbanClap, a gentleman’s word is his bond,
(The greatest of them, of the Woodland Realm, Lord Elrond)
I had come with folded hands and a bowed head,
your blatant lies, deceit and callousness have left me red
But make no mistake, I shall not cower, I shall not rest
I will wage a war, until I have had the best
For let the world know, about how much you have sucked,
UrbanClap, this is for all your customers that you have fucked.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s